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Life in the Spirit, Part 3

Picture of God #84, Thurs 2/15/1

I know it's hard, folks.

Life...traffic....political unrest...over 300 Palestinians dead since the last "peace process" started...not to mention your own fears, money challenges, or a spouse you've lived with for decades and sometimes realize you barely even know....

So I am not pretending there's any "magic formula" here.....Life is hard.  We must deal with it.  And knowing YHWH does not guarantee you a life without problems.  Often, for reasons I will go into at another time, the problems increase.

I have had virtually every material advantage a person can have, and live a blessed life, and some days I find it a real challenge to "go on."  Oh, I don't mean anything so silly as suicide, I mean finding the focus and motivation to keep moving forward on activities that I can find meaningful.

For me, my $200 per hour psychotherapist is God's Name, Ahyh, I  + Will = Being, I Will Be what I choose to be.   As I focus on that Name, really, deeply meditate on it, I am astounded by its ability to clarify my confusion.

The "Good" News

"I Will Be What I Choose to Be" is the GREATEST GIFT I HAVE EVER BEEN GIVEN.  

  • I don't have to think like the demo-publicans tell me to think...
  • I am free to know how genuinely wrong "Political Correctness" is...
  • I can decide to not even watch the "Superbowl", and not be "ashamed" when my so-called friends try to make me feel freakish...
  • The pants I'm wearing at this very moment are 9 years old, since I am free to be what I choose to be, Free to be Me, in a real, genuine, actual sense, not just as a commercial to try to get me to buy what the powers that be say I should
  • Today I listened to a Listz Piano Concerto, King Crimson's Larks Tongues in Aspic, Wendy Carlos' Switched-On Bach (all 4 20-bit digitally re-mastered masterpieces), Howard Stern, and am presently listening to a divine offering called Libera.....
  • My car is 10 years old
  • I am far beyond the limited imaginations of both the "liberals" and the "conservatives"
  • Except for the mortgage on the house, I owe not one dollar to anyone...I have never lived outside my means
  • I ride my motorcycle in the rain
  • I sleep when I'm tired, play as I choose, think as I will, form my own opinions on subjects most people do not even know exist, and work with diligence to keep my customers happy
  • I do not march to the beat of a different drummer...I find the saying contemptuous...The fact is I AM the drummer.

Such are just a few of the gifts granted by being free, really free, Free in The Name.

I am well and truly free, deep down, in ways that most people can't even dream of, because I have lived with, meditated on, drawn pictures, done Bible studies, written, talked to people, lead Bible studies, ALL dedicated to YHWH's Name, and I acclaim the power to be 100% due to that fact.

The "Bad" News

"I Will Be What I Choose to Be" is the single most unyielding, uncompromising teacher I have ever encountered.

  • When I feel depressed, I know the answer...
  • When I find myself awash in a sea of confusion, I know the answer...
  • When I wake-up and have no desire to do anything other than roll-over & go back to sleep, I know the answer...
  • When I look at a mountain of options, to program a computer or write a letter or make some music or put together some artwork or call a friend, I know the answer...

I know the answer lies in those all-powerful words: I Will be what I choose to be.

This is my psychotherapist.

I could probably afford to lay on the couch for $200 for 45 minutes once a week, trying to discover "what's wrong with me...."  Hypnotherapy, past-life regression, birth-canal trauma, early or late potty training, being ignored or pampered as a child, on and on and on....To quote Monty Python, "You may get better, or you may not, depending on how much money you have."

There is a marvelous story.  Scandalously, it comes from the Buddhist tradition, but I will relate it anyway.

A man is walking through the woods, when all of a sudden someone shoots him in the side with an arrow.  The man stands and contemplates: "I wonder who shot that?...where did it come from?....is there another arrow coming?...Is it made out of steel or wood?...and do you think the tip is poisoned?...why would someone do something like that?......."  And on and on until, of course, he bleeds to death.

Buddhism's position is very, very simple: get the arrow out of you, drain the poison, stitch the wound, and then spend the rest of your life (should you choose) exploring the whys & wherefores of the arrow's source and purpose.

FIX THE PROBLEM!  Then, if it's really important, you can spend the rest of your life looking into how the problem got here.

For me, and I know I am threatening a sacred cow here, the modern practices of psychotherapy & psychoanalysis have fallen into the "Arrow-syndrome".  Until we know (so they hint) every tiny bit of your history, there is no hope to change anything.

That is wrong.

You will be what you choose to be.

It really is that straight-forward.

I Know It's Not Easy

Again, I'm not pretending this is a magic formula.  Some people are so hurt, so damaged, that they simply have no capacity to deal with "I Will Be What I Will Be."  Their soul is sick, either from their own or someone else's neglect.

It is a sign of immense strength & health to be able to say "I Will Be What I Will Be."  Yes, it is freeing.  Yes, it is unyielding, because by the time you gain "The Consciousness of The Name" you have no more excuses, nowhere to hide.  It becomes your entire reality.

Great, immense, unimaginable freedom.

But, as always, that freedom comes at a price.


And no, I haven't forgotten we're talking about the Gifts of the Spirit.  

But it's all connected......The Name, the Spirit, the Presence of YHWH within you.

Last time we got together I asked you if you thought they (the Gifts of the Spirit) are real, and still present today.

I cannot prove this to you, in any way, shape or form.  All I can do is testify that, at different times in my life, when there was a particular need, I have experienced what I consider to be each of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Every one of them.

Yup, even speaking in tongues....and miracles...and prophesy.

All of them.

Clearly, we have much to discuss.

 

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